| moving |
[Thursday, June 29th @ 3:11am] |
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) dianalf
New journal just because crawltowhisper is the queerest thing I have ever heard in my life.
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[Wednesday, June 28th @ 3:05pm] |
ahahahhahaha
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| i lied. |
[Saturday, June 24th @ 12:19am] |
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When the self speaks to the self who is speaking?
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| deleting |
[Tuesday, June 20th @ 2:40pm] |
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i'm done with livejournal
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[Friday, June 16th @ 12:45pm] |
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Holy shit. I forgot how fucking funny I am.
It's like some chemical I've been deficient of for ten or twelve months just burst back into my bloodstream.
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[Tuesday, June 13th @ 2:07am] |
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mood |
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restless |
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music |
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...and you will know us by the trail of dead |
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( boob boob boobs tits )
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| read this |
[Saturday, June 10th @ 10:42pm] |
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I thought I could escape. I can't escape myself.
My goal was to be free from all adictions.
addiction to food addiction to people like my exboyfriend addiction to caffeine. addiction.
I have been trying to overcome so that I can face myself.
Tell me, have you ever truly faced yourself?
Don't eat for a few days straight. Talk to nobody. Do not log online.
Give in to no addictions and go to your mirror and look yourself in the eyes.
Face yourself.
What is there when you have freed yourself from all addiction.
Face yourself.
Vast loneliness.
A loneliness so great you can not describe it or give it any words especially the words as inadequate as your own. Face yourself and see what is there.
And there they are. All of your issues you have alwyas tried to surpress, perhaps without ever knowing you were doing so.
it hurts in the strangest fucking way because the more it hurts the more it frees you and the better it feels. the pain pulls you in and sets you free.
al these things that would plague you forever if you had not adressed them.
all of your addictions; myspace, livejournal, tv, music, reading, socializing, eating, alcohol, drugs. they are all here to distract you from yourself.
if you hate yourself here is why:
you have blocked yourself in by bricks and bricks and bricks of addictions [see above]
the only way to be free,
to be happy,
to enjoy the pleasure of your own company,
to love yourself,
is to face yourself and overcome all of the things you have turned to fill, or at least distract you from, your countless voids.
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| Santos. |
[Wednesday, June 7th @ 10:41pm] |
RIP
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[Wednesday, June 7th @ 9:32pm] |
listen to me, don't walk that street
there's always an end to it
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[Thursday, May 25th @ 10:29pm] |
passive aggression: avoiding refusal by passive avoidance ( ex. )
isolation of affect: idea is made conscious but the feelings are kept unconscious. ( ex. )
intellectualization: using higher cortical functions to avoid experiencing uncomfortable emotions; thinking without accompanying emotion ( ex. )
repression: keeping an idea or feeling out of conscious awareness ( ex. )
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[Wednesday, May 17th @ 12:05am] |
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music |
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jackson browne |
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"The most important thing I learned on Tralfamadore was that when a person dies he only appears to die. He is still very much alive in the past, so it is very silly for people to cry at his funeral. All moments, past, present, and future, always have existed, always will exist. The Tralfamadorians can look at all the different moments just the way we can look at a stretch of the Rocky Mountains, for instance. They can see how permanent all the moments are, and they can look at any moment that interests them. It is just an illusion we have here on Earth that one moment follows another one, like beads on a string, and that once a moment is gone it is gone forever.
"When a Tralfamadorian sees a corpse, all he thinks is that the dead person is in bad condition in that particular moment, but that the same person is just fine in plenty of other moments."
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[Wednesday, April 26th @ 6:31pm] |
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This must be the way a horrible mother would feel when she can't control her kicking rampaging three year olds. A free for all battle for attention between my body, instinctive thought, and my present, decision-making mind. Not having complete control destroys me. I know what my body needs. I know what my unconscious craves, and I know that ultimately I have a hcoice over my actions. What I'm out to prove to myself is surprisingly difficult to prove, that my mind does rule my body.
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[Sunday, April 23rd @ 9:15pm] |
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Tell me about your lowest lows
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[Wednesday, April 19th @ 7:12pm] |
My walls have toughened to some median of a church window and a slab of concrete. Strong enough not to disintegrate by moderate impact, but malleable enough that a strong hand can clinch my pith, the figurative blood pumping chamber in my chest that keeps my affection and my thoughts, into sad and sorry knots. It's not like my heart yields some abyss-like gaping hole now, just a missing cookie-cutter rip out of where he made his exit.
By this time of the year, I know damn well who my friends are. I don't want to become a guarded mess, but I have to remember that more importantly than knowing who they are, I've got to remember who my friends are not and keep them out at arms distance.
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[Friday, April 7th @ 10:41pm] |
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fucking assholes
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[Monday, April 3rd @ 5:24pm] |
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SHUT UP YA ASSHOLE
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[Tuesday, March 28th @ 10:08pm] |
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( from viv )
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